Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
