You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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