don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
