dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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