Her vagina should come with caution tape.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
