this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
