I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize