Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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