You can't special order awesome
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
