Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
