its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
