What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
accomplished twins. life is a go
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
