i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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