The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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