Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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