After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
