How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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