I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
