dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
