I wish I could punch you in the face.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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