he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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