she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
