i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The air was thick with penises
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
