You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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