I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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