Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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