would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
