I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
