so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
