they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
