butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
