New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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