Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
