What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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