Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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