Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
