dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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