oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
