This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
