i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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