Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
