you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
