so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
