We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
