i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
how drunk are you?
Several
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
