i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
