Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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