ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
BRING THE BAGELS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize