If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
50% drunk capacity currently
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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