It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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