I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
