Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
