Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
