Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize