They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
