I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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