i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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