did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
