from now on my penis is your penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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